Today I’m exceptionally proud to be releasing a line of cards that is near and dear to my heart. A collection I’ve been working hard on designing for months, but that is actually an accumulation of years of thought and experience.
The Pride Collection is a collection of greeting cards and stationery for the LGBT community and their allies, to show support and awareness to one another. It’s a collection that acknowledges the progress the LGBT community has made, but also understands that, unfortunately, coming out and living your life open, is still not fully the easiest thing to do.
I’ve always been someone who kind of stays clear of designing gender specific cards and never thought I would want to create cards that are specifically LGBT. But, about six months back I started piecing together within myself that I am proud of being exactly who I am. So why not celebrate all pieces of who I am? I usually prefer designing cards that are not gender biased and that could be used for anyone. With this collection I blatantly made designs that favor the LGBT community, but stayed within the area I favor designing, so most cards could be used outside of the LGBT community as well.
I’m fairly shy when it comes to my sexual orientation. It’s never been something I’m fully comfortable talking about. I told the people I thought I needed to tell, and then kind of let everyone else figure things out for themselves. I wish it could have been that way with everyone - me just living my life how I wanted to, without having to sit down and have a conversation about it.
In my world, there would be no such thing as having to coming out. I could just be the person I am, and go out on dates without fear of running into friends and bring home whoever I like, to meet the parents, without having to explain any of it.
That wasn’t how it was though.
When I sat down to start creating this collection I started pulling from my own experiences. It brought back a ton of memories…
The very first person I actively told I had an interest in women was my friend Courtney, in 9th grade, via passing notes in science class. I wasn't horribly nervous because Courtney is a very open and accepting person. She's easy to talk to and I knew it wouldn't make a difference to her. It made a huge difference to me though. I wasn’t ready to be out to everyone. At that point I wouldn’t even consider it coming out, as much as letting someone else in.
After that it took another three years before I opened up to my best friend, my brother, Ryan.
Of course, Ryan already knew. He was the first person to know because he read my diary when I was 12 or 13. I just didn't know it because he had made the decision to let me tell him when I felt comfortable, just like he would tell me he was gay when he felt comfortable. We ended up telling each other one night, while driving around the North Shore Chicago area.
The first time I actually felt like I was “coming out” verse letting people in, was when I came out to my mom. It was a very big moment for me. Other than my brother and a few friends from High School, no one else knew yet. Having my mom know made it more real. I was asserting myself and making a choice to be open. I felt exposed.
My mom was stunned and said something about me being boy crazy and that it was a big surprise to her. I explained that my boy craziness wasn't a false representation of myself. I still liked boys. I just also liked girls. And, if anything was a false representation, it was that I had never told her about the girls I had crushes on or dated. But I was still the same exact person, with otherwise, the same interests as before. I still loved dresses and shopping. I still loved art and animals and strange beautiful things. I gave her time and she let her perception change of what possibilities she saw for my future; or rather who she saw me with in my future.
She was a bit teary eyed but by the end of the conversation we were driving to Target to do some quick shopping. At some point she put a rainbow headband, rainbow pony tail holders, and rainbow hair clips in the cart. That was her way of telling me everything was going to be ok and that she supported me. I will forever treasure the memory of that horribly tacky plastic rainbow headband.
My mom now knew but I didn’t have the courage to tell my dad yet, and asked my mom not to tell him either. My dad had more conservative views and I didn’t want to ruin our relationship. I didn’t want us to argue over politics and sexuality unless there was a good reason for it, which to me, at the time meant being in a committed relationship with a girl and seeing a future with that person.
I didn’t give him enough credit though, because when the time came where I gave the go ahead to my mom to tell my dad, he called me up and told me how much he loved me. The only thing he was upset about was that I felt my mom would understand more than he would.
I met my future wife, Chelsea, almost a year after coming out to my mom. Of course, at that point her name was Patrick. We went on dates for two weeks, skirting around our first kiss. Then one night "Patrick" made me dinner and I could tell “he” was nervous. At the end of dinner, after clearing the table, the conversation started something like this: "I like you and I think you like me. I've wanted to kiss you but I didn't want to unless we were dating exclusively. I don't really mess around with people. So I want to ask you out to be my girlfriend but first I need to tell you something. And just keep in mind, the door is over there if you want to leave."
At this point, I’m clenching the table, because, come on… what could it be?
"I'm transgender," Patrick said.
I was confused. "You were a girl?" I asked.
"No, I'm transitioning male to female."
"Oh, ok.” *Long stretch of silence*
“But you like girls?”
“Yes.”
“Ok, can I kiss you now?”
Palm to face. I'm so awkward. Yes, I am serious, that is what I said. Pretty darn close, if not exactly. I was just so happy it wasn't something that would actually hinder my feelings for her.
And that was the start of our relationship.
Two years later, to that exact day, we were married. By the time we said “I do” Patrick was a year and a half into her transition and legally changed her name to Chelsea, and she became my wife.
We both wore white dresses. We walked down the aisle together, with our dads at our sides. Our families were there to support us. At our reception a week later, we had our first dance to “When I Get Up,” by Tegan & Sara. It was lovely and my heart was full.
Looking to the future I have a sunny disposition on things. I like the way the LGBT community is progressing and from where I sit, it feels as though the LGBT ally base is growing significantly.
Coming out and learning to be my most authentic self wasn’t all peaches and cream. There were friendships lost, bouts of crying, some depression, and a lot of growing that took place, but these days I prefer to focus on the more positive memories.
I was lucky enough to have a strong, supportive base of people by my side throughout the years, and they are the people who have helped inspire these cards.
So far The Pride Collection covers many subjects I've experienced myself or things my friends or family have experienced. I hope to create more cards as time goes on for this collection that help encompass more thoughts and experiences of a wider breadth of the LGBT community. In the mean time, I hope you enjoy The Pride Collection as much as I’ve enjoyed designing it!
View the entire collection by following this link:
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